I really like this slide deck! I think the color palate works very well for the topic, and you do a good job explaining why sidewalk cracks contribute to community stress. Your diagram works well but I don’t totally get why “pollutants/contaminants” is separate from all the other stressors.
Kay – (firstly because I’m sure you haven’t noticed after looking at the same slide deck week after week – correct spelling on slide 1! Lol). I really enjoyed the visual graphic of your icon. Very simple and efficient in displaying a clear stressor – it almost makes more sense as an icon because the breaks are so sharp and fractured, which shows stress even more so than the photos. I also enjoy your use of simplicity throughout the slide deck. There is no visual clutter which is helpful for the viewer to focus. I like that you used the definition of allostatic load to prepare the viewer for your flow chart, as well as the flow chart’s design, colors, and font choices. Great job!
Kay, as I said in class, it’s great that you define a big term like Allostatic load before you deploy it. Very respectful of your audience. That said, according to the diagram, all the factors you name are contributors to allostatic load; allostatic load as a totality generates ‘poor health and ability to recover.’ Is this really information that needs to be presented in a diagram? There are no forks in the road here? No other factors that contribute to ‘poor health and ability to recover’ other than pollutants and allostatic load? It feels like you are dressing up a pretty thin point here–you are essentially providing a very straightforward illustrated definition, with no evidence. This said, with some more contributors to poor health identified (this is the most obvious debate raised), I could buy this diagram if it were smaller and essentially used to help set terms for some further claims you were making. For example, I could see each of these factors as categories in a matrix through which you could evaluate neighborhoods’ overall allostatic load based on their average scores along each factor/dimension.
As Laura asks, what distinguishes pollutants/contaminants from Community Stressors like Noise and Physical Disorder? Why does it get its own category?Also, I’m unclear what the gray shape is above the Pollutants/contaminants box?
Make sure to employ headlines to communicate the point you’re trying to make on each slide.
Some notes on style:
+ Generally, you’ve employed a strong typographic hierarchy on Slide 8. If you decide to keep this hierarchy and headline/text page structure, figure out how to make it consistent across your various slides.
+ This said, the text in your definition seems too difficult to read at this scale–though this is really also in part because of the typeface you’ve selected, Rockwell, and its serifs–they add a lot of visual clutter at this scale (for contrast, see how easy it is to read the Myriad Pro on the next slide at the same scale). So for text this size, you might consider a sans serif typeface, or boost the size of the Rockwell for your definition.
+ Nice color palette, and good legibility on Slide 9.
+ The red rectangle under the words ‘Community Stressors’ is stylistically inconsistent since every other node is connected except this one. I understand that you mean it as a label for the whole field of red dots, but maybe the better thing to do here is to remove the red rectangle and to float the text label near those nodes, to be clearer that it is a label rather than a standalone node.
+ Your backgrounds are still slipping. Check your page templates to make sure your gray box is going all the way to the left and bottom edge of the page.
You clearly did a lot of great work here! Unfortunately the reproduction size is too small for me to engage with any of it. There’s no shortage of slides–feel free to make each of these pages of notes a full page.
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