Rodrigo, this new set of photos are beautifully cropped and composed, and your use of grids and uniform gutters is excellent. Your use of ‘The Times They are a-Changing’ in conjunction with the photos creates a sense of poetic immersion in the chaos of the census tract. And you’ve produced an excellent show of the various chart-making tools demonstrated. But where are we? What census tract is this? Give me some context. There is only one mention of the census tract, in a label, on Slide 6. I should know on Slide 1 what the subject of the deck is, but I’m not sure. ‘Signs’ is a little too vague and expansive. What is it about signs you are looking at? From your later slides, it seems like your subject might be their content? Their placement? Once you zero in on what your deck is trying to investigate/communicate, it will be valuable to build more narrative structure into your photo-documentation. What are the categories among all of the signs you have documented? How do the photos and their presentation support that categorization?
You’ve taken a poetic approach to the first five slides, and then a very different, very data-heavy approach to the remainder. The visual style of the first five slides is very dense, and then the next four are very airy. Try to figure out a style that will work consistently across your slides to bring them into greater coherence with each other. Slide 6 makes for an abrupt break with the abstract, uncategorized images that preceded it, not just in style but also in content. It is not immediately clear what the relationship is between this slide and the slides before it. How is unemployment related to signage or to the census tract? Again, make use of headlines, captions and key maps to help me digest information that might feel extraneous.
There seem to be three charts on Slide 6 that are representing the same information three different ways. They are all well designed, and it is great to include as evidence of approaches you tried, but which is your final approach? Slides 8 and 9 also also show the same data two different ways. Which is your sketch, and which your final? Once you determine the story you are trying to tell, it will be valuable to choose among the various approaches the one that tells your story best.
Some stray notes:
+ On Slide 7, please provide percentages on your pie chart.
+ The icon you’ve designed is pretty, but it has low legibility at a small scale. Consider something simpler that can read when sized down.
+ On Slide 8, you introduce a new typeface that is not used elsewhere. It is difficult to read, but also unnecessary to vary your typeface here.
+ You’ve submitted several alternate finished pieces of work, which is not necessary, but which does evidence engagement with different representational strategies. Still, I’d like you to include some looser and more preliminary sketches as well. And are you emulating something with these slides? What precedents are you using? What is your raw data? Show me your field notes.
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